He has dreamed about it for years. He spent time and money investing in all his gear. He practiced physically; he trained mentally. He even sold his business and gave his family long hugs that would last for five months!
Then, after 28 days of hiking the Appalachian Trail, he wanted to quit.
You are his friend.
What do you say? What do you do?
This week I had to think through this situation and these questions as a close friend thought about quitting the trail and ultimately purchased a plane ticket home. And with time, reflection, and first hand experience - here are some thoughts that I wanted to share.
1. Thru-Hiking is not for EVERYONE.
When I first started this section, I wrote, “The Appalachian Trail is not for EVERYONE.” And then I thought, NO!!! That’s wrong! The Appalachian Trail is absolutely for EVERYONE and should be experienced by as many people as possible. But, thru-hiking is certainly not for everyone. It has been a powerful agent of change and self-reflection for many individuals. But that doesn’t mean that everyone should do it.
In order to thru-hike, the Appalachian Trail has to be a top priority. If your daily family commitments, friendship, work schedule and responsibilities are more important that a thru-hike, then you should consider day or section hiking. NOTICE, I did not say that the trail had to be more important than your family and work. But if you don’t have support and if you can’t commit your mind and heart to the endeavor, then a thru-hike might not be for you.
2. Quitting is sometimes a GREAT decision.
The trail has never been the most important thing in my life. It is very high on the list. But every single hike that I take, I know there is a chance that I might have to get off the trail for someone or something. Thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail is a worthy pursuit, but so is taking care of a sick relative, pursuing a new job, furthering your education, or simply being there for a friend. There are good reasons to get off the trail.
Furthermore, the trail requires change. It demands that you adjust your comfort level. And at some point, every thru-hiker must ask, “Do I want to change?” If you don’t want to change, then you will be MISERABLE on the trail. You may even come to resent the trail. You will probably be much happier and nicer to be around if you decide to stop.
3. Different distances can have the same RESULT.
The benefits of the trail are mostly subjective. I have had the benefit to travel around this country and talk about hiking for the past 10 months. In my travels I have met people who said that their life had been changed by a day – a week – a month – or several months on the trail. And some folks, like me, are still a work in progress!
You can’t place your expectations, or experience, or mileage preference on someone else. Everyone will have his or her own adventure, and create a unique relationship with the trail.
When I started writing this blog, my friend was already very at peace with his decision to stop hiking. I guess it takes some processing and writing for type-A folks like me to get to the same place. But in the end it is OKAY. (And it doesn’t really matter what I think!) No matter when you start or stop, the miles completed and the memories made should be celebrated!!!
I hope that my friend is proud of his accomplishment. I hope that I can encourage him – and let him know that I fully support his decision. And I hope that we can still go back to the trail and day-hike, section hike, or do some trail maintenance together. Remember, the trail was NOT built with the thought or intention that people would ever thru-hike it.
The trail is there for everyone at every phase of life. A day hike is no better than a section hike, or a thru-hike, or EVEN a record hike. The value of the trail cannot be measured in miles or distances, but rather in lessons learned, memories made, and relationships formed.
I LOVE endurance, perseverance and gritting it out no matter what. But that can be a blessing and curse. And I am thankful to friends in my life who can remind me that sometimes – just sometimes - the right decision, the best decision, is to stop.
Comments
Sandy Reid (Tar...
April 4, 2014 - 7:57pm
Ecc 9:11 "I have seen something else under the sun:
The race is not to the swift
or the battle to the strong,
nor does food come to the wise
or wealth to the brilliant
or favour to the learned;
but time and chance happen to them all." Stuff happens; make the most of it. Praise God in all things :)
Russ Dade (Hotd...
April 4, 2014 - 9:23pm
It depends on how bad you want it... Not everyone wants to thruhike bad enough to put up with months of physical and mental pain...
I got hurt 3 days onto my hike, and after a brief break continued on. I risked permenant damage to my knee (reality... I Destroyed it), but don't regret pushing on to Katahdin. I would have regretted quiting for the rest of my life. I don't belittle anyone who stops, everyone has different goals on the AT. The only person who "fails" at a Thruhike, is the person who never starts... 30 miles, 100 miles, 500 miles on the AT... All are great hikes! Just do it.
Brad Grant
April 5, 2014 - 12:14am
Sandy, I'd say you absolutely nailed the meaning of the passage from Ecclesiastes you quote. Your summation is concise and matter-of-fact. :)
Heidi
April 5, 2014 - 12:48am
So beautifully written. It is obvious that he touched many people's lives during those 28 days.
doodads
April 5, 2014 - 2:27am
I've found many people forget the first rule of hiking...have fun! I've seen some grimly determined bone grinders slogging their way up the trail, declining offers for rides to off-trail fun, forgoing all sorts of available good times and little breaks in the belief they must log in x number of miles per day or be at some predetermined point by a particular deadline...they quit their miserable jobs and just traded them in for a new miserable job. The best way to stay on the trail is to choose the good times, take the weekend off and go to the fiddlers convention in Buena Vista when you hike through there,or berkfest inthe north, or dollywood...have some friends pick you up and go to the beach, blue blaze yellow blaze, whatever makes it your most fun time.because if your just taking six months out of your life to be miserable there you can probably do that somewhere else and maybe even get paid for it. You've just started a six month vacation...own it.
Warren Doyle
April 8, 2014 - 4:39pm
The time to decide to stop an AT thru-hike is before you even start it. People should complete either the a)Long Trail; b)Allegheny Trail; c) Benton MacKaye Trail; d) Cohos Trail; e) Northville-Lake Placid Trail; f)Maine AT; or, g)NH AT before they even consider an AT thru-hike.
Lisa
July 15, 2014 - 4:12pm
I've been with my husband on two different 100 mile ultra runs when he decided to withdraw. Both times he'd run "only" 60 miles of them. Both times it was the right decision and he does not regret either. He knew the were no point in hurting himself, that endangered his future running prospects. And he still ran 60 miles....in a pretty fast time...nothing to be ashamed of at all!